Everything you know is wrong
by KaeKei
Summary: Ranma wanted things to be different, well he got his wish, just not the way he wanted it, poor guy. Part 6: What caused the school to catch on fire?
1. Under a Bridge

_**Everything you know is wrong  
Part 1: Under a bridge  
By: Neko Kaemon**_

"**_Because of you, I've seen hell!_**" Ryouga yelled as he ran towards the pigtailed martial artist.

"**_How dare you try to take Shampoo from me!_**" Mousse called as dozens of knifes and swords shot out of his sleeves at Ranma.

"**_Vile enslaver of women! Release Akane Tendo and the pigtailed girl from your evil clutches at once!_**" Kuno joined in as he pointed his bokken at Ranma, but was soon knocked out by a extremely heavy red umbrella smashing into his head.

Ryouga lifted his umbrella of Kunos' head, "Shut up! You have nothing to do with this! Now Ranma! Face me!"

Ranma sighed and looked at the two, "Come on guys, I ain't got time for this kinda stuff!" Ranma then jumped into the air, and came down seconds later planting his foot in Mousses face, smashing the glasses that were, for one, in front of his eyes. "I really havta go, ya can finish this tomorrow!" He jumped off Mousses face and landed on a nearby rooftop and ran towards the Tendo Dojo as fast as he could, leaving the other three martial artists behind.

Mousse brushed the broken glass off his face and looked around, "There you are!" He yelled at the moving object he thought to be Ranma, "Get back here you coward!" He dashed forward and started to chase the guy on the motorcycle, which he thought to be Ranma.

"How dare you run away!" Ryouga started to chase Ranma, but soon found himself inside a nearby movie theaters bathroom. "Could you tell me where the Tendo Dojo is?" Ryouga asked the first person he saw.

"**_Pervert!_**" The woman yelled, slapping him in the face.

* * *

Ranma-chan groaned as she wrung the water out of her silk shirt, "Ah common! Don't ya idiots have enough common sense ta not pour tubs of water out your window, **_onto the sidewalk!_**" She shook her fist at the offending household. Ranma-chan finished getting as much water as she could out of her clothing, then took off towards the Tendo Dojo, only a few houses down. She then jumped over the fence and was soon in the back yard, "Maybe I can sneak into my room, and they won't notice I was late comin' back. I'll jus' say I was taking my time changing an' all." 

"Nihao!" Shampoo said happily as glomped onto Ranma-chan.

Ranma-chan tried to pull away from the purple haired Amazon, hoping that Shampoo didn't attract too much attention, "Sh-sh-shampoo! What are ya doin' here!"

The Amazon rubbed against the redhead, "Airen take Shampoo on date, yes?"

"Ranma." A female voice growled from the house.

Ranma-chan slowly turned her head to the house, only to see a **_very _**angry Akane standing at the back door. "A-Akane! I can explain! It's not what it looks like!"

"Oh?" She said marching towards the redhead, "Then what is it? Huh?"

"Well, uh, it's a, umm." Ranma-chan stuttered, still trying to pull Shampoo off of herself.

"Ranma you **_jerk!_**" Akane then pulled out a giant wooden mallet and swung it like golf club, knocking Ranma-chan into the air, Shampoo fell off the redhead a few seconds later shouting something in Chinese.

* * *

Ranma-chan looked into the water the flowed down the canal as she stood under a bridge, "Stupid tomboy, ain't like it's my fault Shampoo jumped on me." She muttered as she slumped to the ground. She then stretched out and laid down on the ground, her hand stretched out and her fingers just barely in the water as it flowed by. Why do things havta be like this, she thought to herself, why can't they be different. Ryouga's always chasin' after me, yellin' 'bout how I made his life hell and all. Mousse yellin' how I stole Shampoo, while she's the one chasing after me! Akane's always blowing up at me for stuff I didn't do. Then there's Kuno, spouting all this crap about enslaving his loves, crazy! In fact, everyone I know is crazy! Ranma-chan flipped over and looked at the underside of the bridge above her. "I must be cursed." She said aloud, "Oh wait, I already know I am." Ranma-chan reached into her pocket and pulled out a small silver coin, "Heh, stupid coin. Shopkeeper said ya were supposed to help me, but I ain't seen ya do anything to help me." Ranma-chan sighed, then looked at the coin and scowled, "An' why the heck to I keep buying magical charms an' crap!" She shoved the coin back into her pocket and looked back up at the bridge. "I jus' want things ta be different." She whispered, barely audible, and soon slipped into sleep.

* * *

Ranma-chan slowly opened her eyes, only to see the wonderful sight of the underside of a bridge. "Great," She muttered, "I fell asleep under a bridge, like some hobo." She slowly sat up, water dripping off her pigtail, as it had been dangling in the canal all night. She reached behind her head and squeezed the water out of her hair and stood up, as she brushed the dirt and grass off her clothing, she stepped out from under the bridge and looked at the sky. "What time is it? Past breakfast for sure." Ranma-chan jumped up onto the bridge and started to walk down the sidewalk before stopping abruptly, "Wait, crap! Late for school! As much as I hate the thing, I'll get in more trouble by not goin'" Ranma-chan took off down the sidewalk, headed directly towards the school. 

No more then five minutes later, Ranma-chan slid into the classroom and jumped into her seat just seconds before the final bell rang. Hah! Right on time! She thought happily as Hinako entered the room.

"Good morning class." Hinako announced to the class, "Lets get started shall we."

Ranma-chan slumped back in her chair and looked around the room. Hmm, No Akane. Wonder where she is.

* * *

Ranma-chan walked along the fence on her way back to the Tendo Dojo from school. The **_whole _** day had gone by and she hadn't been able to find any hot water, and on top of that she was very tired. She jumped down off the fence, deciding that it would be better to play it safe and walk on the sidewalk. As Ranma-chan rounded a corner she noticed Akane leaning against the fence looking rather bored. "Uhh, Hey Akane. Why weren't ya in school today?" 

Akane turned and looked at Ranma-chan, "Had stuff to do, didn't have time to go to school today." Akane then reached out and grabbed Ranma-chans arm, "Come on, lets get back to the Dojo." She said as she pulled the smaller girl close to her.

Ranma-chan nervously looked around, "Sure, Akane." Ranma-chan soon found herself leaning on Akane, her head resting on the taller girls shoulder, she considered pulling away, but as she looked up at Akane she could see, for some reason, that she didn't mind. Ranma-chan started to feel something, underneath her shirt, that was moving up and down her side. She immediately looked down, and noticed that Akanes' hand was no longer on her shoulders, but in her shirt. Ranma-chan became extremely nervous, her pigtail stood strait up and her muscles tensed. "A-a-a-Akane." She whimpered, "What are ya doin'?"

Akane looked down at Ranma-chan, "Nothing unusual. Why, something wrong?"

"Your hand." She managed to get out.

"Oh, sorry if they're a bit cold." Akane said as she continued to walk, as she continued to move her hand along her side. "Here, let me make it up to you." Akane pulled Ranma-chan in front of her, and kissed the shocked redhead directly on the lips. A few seconds later Akane pulled away from Ranma-chan, "Heh, you really are out of it today. Come on, we're almost home."

Ranma-chan nodded, her brain overloaded and fried by what had just happened. "Okay 'Kane." She slowly said as Akane pulled her along the sidewalk.

A few moments later the two reached the Tendo Dojo and were soon in the house. Ranma-chan slowly started to come back to reality, she pushed Akane away softly, "Excuse me." She then walked up the stairs and into her room, where she laid down on her futon and looked up at the ceiling. "What the heck just happened there?" She asked herself aloud. "Hot water, I need hot water." She jumped up and walked into the kitchen, where Akane was messing around, apparently trying to make something.

"Hey Ranma, feeling better? You were really pale a few moments ago." Akane said as she chopped up an onion, and only the onion.

Ranma-chan looked around nervously, "Uhh, yeah, lots better. I just need some hot water please."

"Sure," Akane walked over and grabbed a cup, and filled it with steaming water from a kettle that was on the stove. "Here you go."

"Thanks." Ranma-chan walked over to the sink, and held one hand out over the sink and poured the hot water over her hand, causing her, to become male for the first time since yesterday afternoon. "That's better." Ranma headed towards the door, but bumped into Nabiki, sending the girl into the floor.

"S-s-sorry Ranma! It was an accident, won't happen again!" Nabiki stuttered as she pulled herself off the floor, and then ran up the stairs to her room.

Ranma just stood there, a confused look on his face for a few moments, before shrugging and walking into the living room and turning on the television.

Nearly an hour later, Ranma heard Akane call everyone into the dining room. Ranma entered the room and was extremely shocked, he had seen Akane cooking, and hadn't seen Kasumi anywhere, but the food, it looked edible! "Looks good Akane." Ranma said, unsure of what he was seeing. "Say, where's Pop and Mr. Tendo?" He asked, realizing that he hadn't seen them all day.

"They said that they had to do something with Happosai." Akane said sitting down at the table, and a few seconds later followed by Nabiki, who looked extremely nervous and kept peeking at Ranma occasionally. Ranma moved over and sat down in his normal spot, and took a closer look at the food, which oddly enough, even up close looked edible.

"So kid, what's for dinner?" Ranma turned to see Kasumi, but something was off, possibly it was the fact that she was wearing a tight dark red shirt that read 'No' on it, dark red gloves to match, and tight black jeans. "Better not be some crap like Nabiki made yesterday."

Ranma stared blankly for a few seconds, but then jumped out of his seat, "**_What the heck is going on here!_**" He yelled, waving a finger at all three of them.

"**_Shut the hell up Saotome! I wanna eat dinner!_**" Kasumi yelled, pulling out a small pistol and pointing it at Ranma, who quickly sat back down in his seat and stared at his plate. Kasumi then waved the gun around the table, "Anyone else wanna talk? 'Cause I really don't feel like dealin' with all your crap today."

All three of the other people quietly said, "No." and started to eat the meal that was set out in front of them.

Ranma quickly started to eat food, not knowing about where it came from till about thirty seconds into the meal. Wait, this was cooked by Akane. He noted to himself, And yet, I'm not dead. Could today get any weirder? Ranma pushed aside any remaining thoughts and quickly ate, and ran up the stairs into his room. "Sleep, a good nights sleep is what I need, and when I wake up tomorrow, I'll be under that bridge with my hair in the water." He sat himself down on his futon and quickly went to sleep.

Downstairs Kasumi spun the gun on her finger and looked up the stairs, "What the hell is wrong with Saotome?"

* * *

The next morning Ranma groaned and opened his eyes, "No." He cried, "I wanna be under the bridge." 

"Why would you want to be under a bridge?" A voice next to him asked.

Ranma slowly turned his head to see Akane, wearing nothing, under the covers right next to him. His eyes widened and his pigtail twitched, "What are you doing here?" He asked, trying to seem calm.

"Well," She said seductively, "our fathers were gone and you were alone in this room, so I figured I would stay here with you to keep you company." She smiled and moved closer to him.

Ranma gave out a small shriek, and jumped directly out of bed and out the door of his room, and ran into the bathroom, locking the door behind him. "What the heck is up with everyone! Why is this happenin' ta me!" Ranma walked over and sat on the edge of the furo, "An' what the heck coulda caused this?" Ranma put his hand in his pocket, and noticed that the coin was still in it. He pulled it out and looked at it, it was just a plain silver coin, some weird characters on it, but didn't look like it could really do anything.

"_Ah yes, this is a coin I acquired a few years ago, supposedly its supposed to help you, tell it what you want, and it will try its best to help you."_

Ranma shoved the coin back in his pocket as he remembered what the salesman had told him. "Stupid coin! Help my eye! If anything it just made it worse!"

"Hey! Saotome! Get outta the bathroom, or do I havta shoot open the door down!" Kasumi yelled from the other side of the door.

"Okay Kasumi!" Ranma nervously said as he got off the edge of the furo and flung open the door and dashed past Kasumi down the stairs where he then slid into the kitchen, where Nabiki was cooking what looked to be breakfast.

"G-good morning Ranma! Breakfast will be ready in only a few moments." Nabiki said as she looked down at the food she was preparing.

Ranma gave an odd look to Nabiki, "Ok," he said warily, "but I gotta get to school soon. It will be ready in five minutes, right?"

"Yes, yes." She said, speeding up her pace, "Just please, wait in the dining room."

Ranma nodded and walked into the dining room, and just as Nabiki had said, about five minutes later breakfast was brought out and Ranma tore into the food with his usual gusto, and was out the door only one minute after Nabiki had brought out the food.

"I better get to school too, don't want to have the teachers annoyed at me coming late." She said quietly and went to get her stuff.

* * *

Ranma jumped over a gap in the fence as he ran along it on the way to school, "Hmm, that wasn't there yesterday, wonder what happened." Suddenly the fence started to wobble, and the section that he was standing on started to tip over, towards the canal. "Not today!" Ranma jumped off the fence section and landed on the sidewalk just as the fence segment broke off completely and landed in the canal. Ranma smiled, "Not gonna fall in that canal today!" Any joy he was feeling was short lived, as a split second later water splashed him in the back, water from the same old lady that threw water from the same pail every day. "Aw common ya old woman! Couldn't ya tell that I was standin' right here!" Ranma-chan called to the old woman as she walked away. 

"Hey Ranma, got hit by the old lady again?" Akane said as she walked up to Ranma-chan.

Ranma growled, "Yeah, got me again. Sometimes I wonder if she just waits there for me, waiting for any chance she can get to splash me with that water."

Akane started to wring the water out of Ranma-chans shirt, and a few seconds later stopped, having gotten all the water she could out. "Come on, lets get to school." Akane then slid her hand around Ranma-chans waist and started to walk alongside her towards the school.

Ranma-chan sighed, even though Akane was being nice, it was a little **_too _**nice for her taste.

Moments later, Ranma-chan and Akane were both in class. Ranma-chan had a scowl on her face, for the second day in a row she was at school, as a girl. She looked over to Akane, who was sitting right next to her and once again had her hand around the smaller girls waist. "Akane," She whispered, "You might wanna stop that, Hinako is gonna be here any second now I bet."

"Aww, your no fun," Akane said playfully as she put her hands on the desk.

Just as Ranma-chan had predicted, Hinako came into the classroom seconds later. "Alright class, lets get things started by reading chapter twenty two, section three in our textbooks."

Ranma-chan immediately started to read what Hinako had assigned, but something seemed off to him. For one, Hinako was still in child form, but seemed to be acting more like her adult form, that and she hadn't sapped anyone of their strength the other day. Ranma-chan sighed, everyone else was acting weird, as least Hinako was acting weird for the better.

A few hours later, Ranma-chan once again found herself walking home with Akanes' hand up her shirt. The redhead sighed and leaned against Akane, having completely given up against fighting against her fiancé, "Hey Akane, ya ever had the feelin' that something was just, well, wrong?"

"Nope, can't say I have, why, something wrong?" Akane said as she slid her hand down lower, and started to slip her hand down the side of Ranma-chans pants.

"Eep!" Ranma-chan jumped about two feet into the air, "Akane! Please, can ya not do that?"

"Oh fine, but I'll get you tonight." Akane winked at Ranma-chan.

Ranma-chan just whimpered and continued to walk towards the Tendo Dojo.

* * *

Ranma-chan walked into the Tendo household, having finally decided to get away from Akane after she had once again tried to grope her again, only this time on the chest. The second she entered the house she found herself immediately embraced by her father. 

"Ah! Welcome back my son, I have missed you the past two days! How was your day at school?" Genma said as he released his embrace on Ranma-chan.

"Nice to see ya too Pop." Ranma said, looking over Genma, wondering if he was planning something. "Where you and Mr. Tendo been lately?"

Genma rubbed the back of his head a chuckled, "Well, we had to deal with Happosai, which you well know can take days."

"Yeah, well, I got stuff I gotta do, see ya." Ranma-chan walked away from her father and into the living room, where Mr. Tendo was.

"Hello Ranma!" Mr. Tendo called to Ranma-chan, "Did I miss any calls while I was dealing with Happosai?"

Ranma-chan shook her head, "Nope, not that I know of." As soon as she finished her sentence, a small phone, one that she had never noticed before, rang and Mr. Tendo grabbed it.

"Yes, I see. I'm on it!" Mr. Tendo flung the phone back on the receiver, "Well Ranma, something has come up, I must be off!" Mr. Tendo then dashed past Ranma-chan and out the back door.

Ranma-chan sighed and shook her head, "Right, ya have fun with that."

Twenty minutes later Ranma, male once again, found himself flipping though the television channels, stopping on a new channel he decided to see what was going on.

"-_nd once again, The Blazing Steel has come to the rescue! Not only did he stop a bank robbery, but he also saved a burning bus full of children! Look! There he is now!_"

Ranma stared at the screen, his mouth agape, on it was Mr. Tendo, wearing some kind of ridiculous suit and standing triumphantly beside some children. "Someone, please, anyone, just kill me now."

"That can be arranged!" Ranma turned around to see Kasumi, holding a katana in the air, "**_Hiyaaah!_**" She yelled, bringing the katana down.

"Gah!" Ranma jumped off the couch and rolled on the floor before jumping up and looking at Kasumi. "What are ya tryin' ta do? Kill me!"

"Isn't that what ya wanted?" She asked, sheathing the katana.

"I didn't mean it literally!" He yelled at her.

Kasumi scoffed at him, "Fine, be that way." Kasumi turned around and left the room.

Ranma slid over to what was left of the couch and grabbed the remote control, and turned off the television. "I'm goin' to bed. Life is too confusing right now." Ranma threw the remote down and headed off to his room.

* * *

**_Neko Kaemon: Ta da! A new story, and this one is an actual Ranma Fanfic! Heh, chapter 2 will come soon._**


	2. Determined? Nah

_**Everything you know is wrong**_

_**Part 2: Determined? Nah.**_

_**By: Neko Kaemon AKA Not your mom**_

Ranma looked up at the ceiling, then over to the person next to him, them back up at the ceiling, and finally back to the person next to him. "**_What the heck are ya doin' in my bed again!_**" He yelled into Akanes' ear as she lay next to him. "Didn't ya get the hint yesterday that I don't like ya doing this!"

Akane slowly opened here eyes and looked at Ranma, "Because, you seemed nervous about something, and I thought I'd try to calm you down, but when I got here you were already asleep."

Ranmas' eye twitched, "I'm 'nervous' because you people are drivin' me crazy!"

"Here Ranma, let me make you feel better." She started to pull off the light blue nightgown that she was wearing.

"Gyah!" Ranma screamed, he then jumped out of bed and out the door for the second day in a row. He ran down the hallway, and stopped in front of Kasumis' door, he frowned, on it was a sign, reading 'Trespassers will be shot.' in large bold print. The pigtailed martial artist slowly opened to door, to see Kasumi still asleep in her bed, which was placed right next to a large collection of swords, while her window sat open, curtains blowing in the morning wind.. Good, she's still asleep, maybe I can turn off her alarm so I can actually use the bathroom today, he thought to himself as he started to slowly and carefully walk into the room. Ranma got over to her dresser, looking at her he assumed that she was still asleep, he then began to search for a alarm clock. On the dresser, no alarm clock, inside her drawer, no alarm clock. Where the heck is it? He thought angrily. He then looked to his side, only to see Kasumi sitting up in bed holding something in her hand, the alarm clock.

"Saotome." Kasumi growled, reaching behind her, "What are you doing, messing around **_in my room!_**" Kasumi pulled off the shelf and out of the sheath one of the katanas' that were sitting on the other side of her bed. "Your dead!"

Ranma jumped onto the ground as the katana slashed directly where his head had been only seconds before. Ranma then watched as the girl who he thought couldn't possible do anything wrong, jumped out of her bed and tried to decapitate him, only missing because he rolled out of the way at the last moment. "K-Kasumi! I'm sure we can work this out in a peaceful, nonviolent way." Ranma rolled away and jumped onto his feet, "One that lets me keep my head!" He screamed as he ducked underneath the katana again. He then watched as a few hairs fell in front of his eyes. "Uhh, I propose that I," Ranma backed up a few steps, "do this!" Ranma then did a back flip out the window and into the backyard of the Tendo Dojo.

Moments later, Ranma entered the house, carefully avoiding Kasumi as she sat on the couch watching television. He quickly and quietly ran up the stairs and into the bathroom locking the door behind him, luckily still having enough time to take a bath. He threw off his clothing and tossed them into the dirty clothing basket, he then poured a nearby bucket of cold water over himself and began to clean herself off. Only about ten seconds later, Ranma-chan felt two hands wrap around her, and the flesh of another person press against her back. Ranma-chan jumped up, the hands releasing her, and turned around to see a naked Akane standing there smiling.

Nabiki stepped out of her room, hearing some screaming coming from down the hallway, then suddenly she saw a very naked Ranma-chan run down the hallway screaming at the top of her lungs, followed by and equally naked Akane chasing after her. "I wonder what's wrong been wrong with Ranma lately. He hasn't been acting like his normal self." Nabiki then walked down the stairs, headed for the kitchen, "I better get breakfast ready, don't want Ranma mad at me again."

Upstairs, Ranma-chan stood in front of her door, blocking anyone from getting into it. "No Akane! I'm not gonna let you in!" She yelled as Akane knocked on the door. "I just want some peace! That's all I want!" Ranma-chan waited a few more moments, and sighed in relief as she heard Akane walk away. Ranma-chan then turned her attention away from the door, and noticed that Genma, in panda form, was awake and sitting up looking at Ranma-chan.

Genma pulled out a sign and started to write on it, and held it up a few seconds later, '_Nice view son, but could you please put some clothing on._'

"**_Pervert!_**" She yelled as she kicked her father out the window. The redhead then walked over to her dresser and pulled out some of her favorite clothing, a red silk Chinese shirt and matching pants. She was just about to put the shirt on, when a loud explosion sound came from outside her door, and it was then kicked off its hinges and onto the ground.

Kasumi walked in the room, holding a gun on one hand, she pointed the gun at Ranma-chan and yelled at the small girl, "Hey Saotome! I still haven't paid ya back for this morning'! So put that crap down an' come with me!"

Ranma-chan just nodded and sat down the clothing, and followed Kasumi out of the room, and a few seconds later she found herself in Kasumis' room and sitting on the girls bed, still lacking clothing much to her embarrassment.

Kasumi turned and glared at Ranma-chan, "Ok twerp, your gonna do exactly what I say, or I'm gonna beat the livin' hell outta you, got that?"

Moments later Ranma-chan sat herself down at the table for breakfast, a scowl on her face.

"Not something I would personally wear, but not bad." Genma said as he ate the breakfast that had just been laid out.

"Shut up!" Ranma-chan yelled, throwing her plate at her father, hitting him on the head and knocking him unconscious.

Akane smiled as she looked over at Ranma-chan, "You know Ranma, pink really isn't your color."

"And what are ya doin' looking there!" She snapped at Akane.

"Doing what I do every day." Akane simply responded.

Nabiki then walked into the room and looked directly at Ranma-chan, "Umm, I hope you don't mind me asking, but why are you wearing one of Kasumis' spare school uniforms, with," Nabiki walked around Ranma-chan, "pink bra and panties."

"Cause I must have died under that bridge and I'm now in hell." Ranma-chan muttered as she began to bang her head against the table.

* * *

Ranma-chan scowled as she walked into the Tendo Dojo. Her day at school had been less then perfect, Akane had tried even more disturbing stunts, the students had mocked her, and the teachers complimented her on how she looked, which of course annoyed her more then anything else that had happed already today, well, besides having to wear the dress. 

"Ranma!" A woman's voice called out, and soon Ranma-chan found herself in the embrace of her mother, "So nice to see you in clothing like that."

"Hey! It's not what it looks like! Kasumi made me wear this crap!" Ranma-chan said, pulled away from her mother.

"Oh." Nodoka said, sounding disappointed, "So you haven't decided to give up your male form?"

Ranma-chan quickly backed away from her mother, "W-what the heck are you talkin' about!"

Nodoka frowned, "Oh fine, I see that your still just as stubborn. Oh well, but don't think this is going to stop me from trying."

"Ok, uhh, I'm gonna go now. 'Kay, bye!" Ranma-chan darted up the stairs and into her room, locking it behind her. "Ok, now to change outta this getup." She muttered as she began to pull off the skirt. Suddenly pain shot though her left arm, she reached over and clutched her injured arm with her other, and felt blood flowing from her arm.

"Ranma, Ranma, Ranma, you know sometimes you just disappoint me." Ranma-chan looked up to see Kasumi standing there, one of her many katanas in her hands. "Did I say you could change? Well, did I?"

Ranma-chan grunted, "No. You didn't, but I don't see why I need to get your permission to change clothing."

"Because of one thing Ranma, I've kicked your butt before, and I'm not afraid to do it again." Kasumi smirked and kicked Ranma-chan across the room before the shorter girl could even register the movement. "I dunno why you've been acting different lately, but I don't like it one bit. Now, I recommend going to a doctor and getting that checked out. Oh, and speaking of doctors, I have an _appointment _with one soon, so I better be off." Kasumi then walked out the door.

"I'm really startin' to hate this place." Ranma-chan grumbled as she staggered to her dresser, and pulled out a first aid kit.

A few minutes later Ranma-chan had the would wrapped, but figured Kasumi was right, she should go to a doctor. "I wonder what _wonderful _quirk Dr. Tofu has here." Ranma-chan said sarcastically as she left the Tendo Dojo.

* * *

"Hmm, Dr. Tofu's' place is usually busier at this hour then it is now." Ranma-chan noted as she realized that no one else was there. "Hello?" She called as she walked into the building. 

"Huh? Someone's here?" A voice called from the back and seconds later Dr. Tofu came around the corner. "Oh hello Ranma, been a while since you dropped by here."

"Oh, well sorry." Ranma-chan said and then held up her arm. "Uhh, I got slashed on my arm, and I was wonderin' if ya could treat it. I did some stuff to it at home, but I think that it would be better if a actual doctor treated it."

Dr. Tofu smiled, "Oh sure Ranma, just come around back and I'll treat it right away." He then motioned for her to follow him to the back room.

"Thanks." Ranma-chan said as she walked into the back room.

* * *

Kasumi frowned as she heard the screams and yelling coming from the inside of Dr. Tofu's office. 

"**_What the heck are ya doin'! That's gonna make it worse!_**" The yelling was followed by a crashing sound.

"Don't worry! I can fix it! Just give me a moment!" Kasumi then lifted one eyebrow as she heard the sound of something gas powered turning on.

"**_Ahhh! What could you possibly need that for! Put the chainsaw down! It ain't gonna help me!_**" Kasumi ducked as a chainsaw flew out the window and over her head.

There was an awkward silence for a few moments, but then Kasumi heard Dr. Tofu speak. "But I saw it on television!"

"**_And you believe everything that you see on television!_**" Kasumi then watched as Ranma-chan burst through the small buildings door and fell to the ground gasping for air. "**_You idiot! You just broke a gas pipe!_**"

Dr. Tofu then walked out of the building, "No, it was probably just a water pi-" Suddenly Dr. Tofu was blasted forwards by the explosion of his office building.

"Ha!" Ranma-chan yelled as she pointed at the burning building, "I told ya it was a gas pipe!"

"Wow Ranma, I knew you were stupid, but I didn't think you were this stupid!" Kasumi said as she walked towards the fallen Ranma-chan.

Ranma-chan scooted away from Kasumi until she backed into a building, "K-Kasumi! What brings you here!"

"I told ya, I had ta go see a doctor, and this just happens to be the one." Kasumi reached behind her and drew a katana from a sheath strapped to her back, "Now come on Tofu, get up so I can kick your ass!"

Tofu pulled himself off the ground, "What makes you think you can actually accomplish that!"

Kasumi laughed, "What makes you think you can beat me, you don't even had a weapon to fight me with, and your place is in flames, I hardly think your gonna run in and get it now."

"Well, that's why I prepared **_this!_**" Tofu jumped from the ground and slammed through a car window and then flew out the other side, only now holding a long object, a sheath. He stood up and pulled the katana from its sheath and faced Kasumi. "Ready to finally get what's coming to you?"

"Like that will ever happen." Kasumi jumped at Tofu screaming.

Tofu ducked under the first slash the jumped to the side to avoid the seconds one. He raised his katana up and began to bring it down, but was pushed away from Kasumis katana. Both stood there for a moment, looking at each other with scowls on their faces.

Ranma-chan pressed herself up against the building as she readjusted the wrapping on her arm and watched the two deranged psychos try to kill each other. "I've got to get away from these people." The redhead stood there and stared at the two for a moment, "Hmm, never knew Kasumi was this good with a sword." She noted as Kasumi kicked Tofu sending him smashing into a building.

"Hold on young lady! We will get you away from this place!" A voice said from the building above. Two figures, one thin and one very, very large landed in front of the redhead. "I, The Blazing Steel, and my assistant, The Steel Panda!"

Ranma-chans eye twitched as she looked at her father, in panda form, wearing a dark read loose fitting costume and a cape to match, stand next to Soun Tendo disguised, rather badly in her opinion, as The Blazing Steel. "Ya know, I'd much rather have you stop those two from killing each other." She pointed to Kasumi and Tofu.

The Blazing Steel shook his head, "No, no, those two do this often, sometimes twice a week, we just ignore them. Now come Steel Panda! Grab her and let us go to safety!"

"Grrowff!" Steal Panda said, grabbing Ranma-chan and jumping onto the building again.

A few moments later Ranma-chan found herself being sat down in front of the Tendo Dojo by her father, disguised as The Steel Panda. "There you go young lady! Now, we must be off!"

Steel Panda grunted in agreement and then both jumped into the air and soon disappeared.

Ranma-chan marched into the kitchen and grabbed the kettle that was on the stove which Nabiki seemed to be heating for tea, and unceremoniously threw it in her own face. Ranma then marched up the stairs and threw of the skirt and other clothing and quickly changed into his trademark red and black Chinese clothing. "Ah, feels so much better to be back in my normal body after everything that's happened today." He said as laid down on his futon.

"Really? What happened?" Akane asked as she lay right next to him.

Ranma scooted away from the girl, "Well, Kasumi made me wear a dress all day, then mom talks about giving up my guy side, then Kasumi slashes my arm. Then, I go to the doctor, only to have him try to kill me with a chainsaw! Oh, and then of course Kasumi has to show up and last I saw, is trying to kill Tofu."

"You went to **_Tofu! _**Have you lost it Ranma!" Akane shrieked, grabbing Ranma and shaking him.

"What?" Ranma said skeptically, "Is there something wrong with going to him? He's never done anything crazy before."

Akane knocked on Ranmas head a few times, "Hello? Ranmas brain, you in there?"

Ranma pushed Akane away from him, "Ok, if Tofu is so crazy, tell what he's done to deserve being called that."

"Well," Akane put her hand on her chin, "When you first came here and he found out about your curse, he tried to dissect you to see if you truly changed on the inside. Then there was the time he chained you down and tried to find out exactly how much water it takes to trigger the change, by dripping one very small drip on your forehead every twenty seconds. Oh, and then there was the time he tried to find out if he put some of your blood in someone else, they would change to, poor Nabiki, you know, I bet if he didn't perform his experiments in that torture chamber like place with all the low lights, sharp things, and all around disturbing marital, she wouldn't the wreck she is now." Akane looked up at Ranma and noticed the confusion on his face. "You, don't remember all this do you?"

Ranma shook his head, because I'm not from this screwed up place, he thought but then said aloud, "Nope, not a bit."

"Hmm." Akane pulled her self closer to Ranma, "Well, maybe I can help you." Akane then put her hands on his stomach and pushed him down. She then began to put her hands inside of Ranmas pants.

"Gah! Gotta go!" Ranma screamed as he jumped up and out the window.

Akane set up and pouted, "Humph, he acts like me doing this is a bad thing."

Ranma landed safely in the backyard, "Sheesh! I swear, the only reason she talks to me is so she can attempt to molest me!" Ranma jumped over the gates and started to head towards Tofus' office. "I wonder if Kasumi and Tofu have finished their little fight." Ranma muttered as he jumped onto a fence.

Moments later Ranma found himself at the site of what used to be an office building, but all there was there now was rubble and trash. He started to look over the area when he noticed to figures standing on the other side of the rubble, though neither of them seemed to be Kasumi nor Tofu. Ranma jumped over the rubble and soon recognized the two figures. 'The Blazing Steel' and his trusted assistant, 'The Steel Panda.' Ranma frowned then looked at the two peoples feet, to see Kasumi and Tofu unconscious on the ground.

"Good job Steel Panda! We stopped them before they could damage anymore buildings." Blazing steel said triumphantly as he stood over the two.

"Growff!" Steel Panda grunted, then held up a sign, '**Yes, it is our duty to protect these people, in the name of justice!**' The sign then disappeared behind Steel Pandas back and the two jumped onto a building and out of view.

"No matter how many times I see that, it will still disturb me." He griped as he walked over to Kasumi and Tofu. "Might was well get ya home Kasumi." Ranma grabbed the girl and started to carry her home, right after kicking Tofu in the stomach.

Later that night Ranma found himself staring up at the ceiling, not knowing what to do about his situation, but right then something clicked, he knew exactly what he needed to take some of the worries and confusion of the past few days off his shoulders. "Man! I need something' ta eat!"

* * *

**_Neko Kaemon: Hmm, theres part 2 for all of ya. Personaly not the best thing I've writen. But it gets the job done. Part 3 should be quite a bit better.  
And thank all you people who reviwed the first part, 9 reviews for just one part is more I got on my first thing in 7 months, heh.  
_**


	3. Best of friends

**_Everything you know is wrong_**  
_**Part 3: Best of friends  
By: Neko Kaemon AKA Not that weird guy staring in your window**_

Ranma-chan walked atop the fence on her way back from another excruciating day of school.

"**_Akane Tendo! Prepare to die!_**" Ranma-chan jumped off the fence, expecting Ryouga to start attacking her, but was surprised when Ryouga jumped over her and landed in front of Akane.

Akane looked at Ryouga and smiled at him, "Oh, nice to see you P-chan, finally find your way back here?"

Ryouga growled and lunged at Akane, "Don't you dare call me that!"

Akane dodged to the side and spun around and kicked Ryouga into the fence. "Going to have to do better then that P-chan."

Ryouga once again lunged at Akane, but was stopped as Ranma-chan grabbed him by the back of the shirt. "Whoa, calm down P-chan, no need to freak out."

"R-r-Ranma! What are you doing here?" Ryouga stammered as he pulled himself from Ranma-chans grasp.

"Walkin' home with Akane. What are ya doing here P-chan?" She stated, and trying not to get groped in the middle of the street, she thought.

"Oh, well, uhh, I came to give you these things!" Ryouga reached inside his pack and pulled out three packages and handed them to Ranma-chan.

Ranma-chan looked over the packages, and after deducing that they weren't going to blow up put them in her school bag. "Thanks P-chan."

Ryouga put on hand behind his head an laughed slightly, "Your wel… come… wait! Why did you call me P-chan!"

"Ya know, small black little pig." Ranma-chan made a little square shape with her hands to demonstrate the pigs size. "The one you turn into."

"W-who told you!" He gasped, staggering a back a few steps. No! All my dreams ruined! He mentally screamed at himself.

Ranma-chan stared at Ryouga for a moment, What the heck is he freakin' out about? She puzzled. Oh yeah, this place is different then normal. Wait, Akane knows about P-chan, but I don't? That's odd. "Oh well, I kinda figured it out for myself. Yeah, uhh figured it out for myself."

"Your not going to kill me because of it?" Ryouga questioned.

"No, no real reason at kill ya." Ranma-chan looked up from Ryouga to see Akane sneaking up on the lost boy with a large mallet, "Hey, Ryouga."

"Uhh, what?" Ryouga asked.

"Behind ya." She said pointing behind him.

Ryouga spun around and ducked underneath Akanes mallet just a spit second before she swung it. He tightened his grip on his umbrella, and swung it at Akanes' legs and knocked her directly off her feet and onto the ground.

Akane quickly recovered and jumped back a few feet, "Come on P-chan! You're going to have to do better then that!" Akane sprung at Ryouga and punched him in the stomach sending him back, once again knocking him into the fence. She ran up to him once again and punched strait up, knocking him into the air and out of sight. "Whoo! That was fun, not often Ryouga comes around." she then turned to the redhead, "So, what was the pig freaking out over again?"

Ranma-chan reached into her bag and pulled out the three packages, "Oh Ryouga? He just was giving me some stuff, these packages, that's all." She then shoved the packs back into her pack and started to continue her trip back to the Tendo Dojo. "Come on, lets get back."

Less then thirty seconds later, Ranma-chans walk home was once again interrupted, this time by a purple haired Chinese Amazon running towards Ranma-chan from the back. "Ranma! You steal Mousse from Shampoo! I kill!"

"Huh?" Ranma-chan looked back to see Shampoo running at her holding a large sword. "Gah! Shampoo!" The redhead dodged to the side as Shampoo ran past her. "What do ya think ya doin' with that thing!"

Shampoo pointed the sword directly at Ranma-chan, "You steal Mousse! For that, Shampoo kill!"

"Whoa, whoa! Shampoo, I ain't tryin' to steal Mousse from ya, I don't want anything to do with him!" Ranma-chan just wanted to throw up at the thought of **_her _**trying to steal **_Mousse_**, another **_guy_**, and from Shampoo none the less.

"Oh Ranma! How can you just ignore my love!" Ranma-chan whipped around to see Mousse standing on the fence only a few feet away.

Ranma-chan growled at Mousse, "That's 'cause there **_is none!_**"

"Ranma! Stop talking so Shampoo can kill you!" Shampoo thrust the sword toward Ranma-chan, who jumped into the air and landed on the sword. The Amazon reached behind her and pulled a second sword from its strap and took a slash at the redheads legs.

Ranma-chan jumped off the first sword and landed easily on the second one and used it like a spring to launch herself onto the fence. Ranma-chan jumped down from the fence and waited for Shampoo to do her next attack, which was another attempt to cut her in half one way or another with a sword. Ranma-chan ducked under the first sword and slid to the side dodging the second one, she then shot her hand out and grabbed onto the hilt of one of the swords and quickly pulled it out of the Amazons hand. She then parried the next attack with the sword she had just gained and pulled the second sword out of Shampoos hand. "Ya got no weapon now, so what ya gonna-" Ranma-chan was launched into the air by a hit to the midsection by a large metal baseball bat that Shampoo had pulled out.

"Home run!" Shampoo yelled as Ranma-chan flew threw the air.

Mousse jumped onto the rooftops and followed Ranma-chan as she flew through the air, "No! I'll catch you Ranma!" He made one final leap and caught the falling girl, and landed in a tree. "At least I caught you." He said as he pulled himself into a sitting position on one of the branches, still holding Ranma-chan.

"Uhh, yeah, thanks Mousse." She then tried to move away to get down the tree, when she realized that Mousse was still holding onto her. "Hey Mousse, could ya let go so I can get down?" Mousse nodded and let go of the girl, "Hey, where's your glasses?" Ranma-chan asked as she pushed herself onto a nearby branch.

"Glasses? What are you talking about?" Mousse asked, a confused look on his face.

Ranma-chan waved her hand in front of his face, "You mean you don't wear glasses, have never worn glasses?"

"Nope." Mousse said.

Ranma-chan nodded, "Ok, just one more thing."

"What?" Mousse asked.

"**_Get your hand off my butt!_**" Ranma-chan then punched Mousse strait out of the tree and into the sky. The redhead then weaved her way through the tree branches and jumped down to the ground.

"Ranma! Shampoo kill!" Ranma-chan looked over to see Shampoo once again charging at her with the two swords.

Ranma-chan prepared to attack when two figures jumped in front of her and Shampoo suddenly went flying into the tree she had just jumped out of.

"Stay away from Ranma!" Ryouga yelled at Shampoo, who was pulling herself to her feet.

Mousse launched chains out of his robes that tied Shampoo to the tree, "Or do we really have to hurt you?"

Suddenly a large metal object slammed into the chains breaking them. Ranma-chan instantly recognized the large metal object as a spatula, and her eyes were quickly drawn to the girl holding the spatula in the bright pink dress, "Don't you dare hurt my Sham-chan!"

"Shampoo not pervert girls Sham-chan!" Shampoo yelled at Ukyou as she pulled the chains off her.

"How can you just deny our love like that!" Ukyou whined at Shampoo.

Shampoo growled at the girl then yelled at Ukyou, "Because Shampoo never love pervert girl in first place!"

"B-but what about that one time in th-" Ukyou started to say but was cut off by Shampoos' yelling.

"**_That only happen because pervert girl drug Shampoo and take Shampoo there!_**" Shampoo then turned to face Ryouga, Mousse, and Ranma-chan, "Now you go somewhere else! I have to kill Ranma!"

Ukyou hoisted her spatula up onto her shoulders, "But isn't there something I can do for you?"

Shampoo hung her head and sighed, "Fine, fine, you help kill Ranma!"

"Fine by me, its what I came here to do in the first place anyway." Ukyou said tightly gripping her spatula.

Ranma-chan looked over at the two girls that were ready to try and kill her, "Hey Ryouga, Mousse, could ya, oh, get rid of these two, I really have ta go somewhere."

"Sure! Anything for you Ranma!" Both said in unison, which really freaked Ranma-chan out.

"Err, yeah, you two have fun with this, see ya." Ranma-chan quickly ran away from the area and towards the Tendo Dojo as fast as she could, hearing the sounds of the four fighting for a short while before she got out of range.

**

* * *

**

Ranma-chan stared up at the night sky from her spot on the roof. "Stupid Kasumi." She muttered to herself, "She just had to 'accidentally' break the water heater this morning, and how unusual it is that the stove and microwave just happened to 'break' today, haha, she deserves what I did to her dinner." Ranma-chan scoffed.

"Bwee!" Ranma-chan looked over to see a small black pig wearing a bandana sitting a few feet away from her.

Ranma-chan reached out and grabbed the small pig, "Hey P-chan, ya aren't gonna try to attack, kill, or grope me are ya?"

The black piglet shook its head and made a few squealing noises.

"That's good." Ranma-chan then sat the pig down by her head, "Hmm, tired." She muttered, and then a few moments later fell asleep.

* * *

Ranma-chan slowly opened her eyes, and noticed that she had fallen asleep on the roof, and that currently there was a small black pig on her stomach. "Great, I fell asleep on the roof, and with Ryouga none the less. Hmm, I guess it's better then waking up to Akane with her hands in either my shirt or pants." The girl grabbed Ryouga by the bandanna and carried him though the window and into the house. Seconds later she entered the kitchen where she was confronted by Akane, asking her where she was last night and what she was doing with P-chan. "Akane, calm down, I fell asleep on the roof, and P-chan just happened to show up." Ranma-chan walked over and set P-chan on the couch, "Stay, I'm going to go change, I'll be right back." Ranma-chan the walked towards the bathroom, leaving P-chan and a very irate looking Akane in the same room together. 

Moments later, Ranma stepped out of the bathroom, with a clean set of clothing on, and a male body. "Ha! The water heater wasn't 'broke' for very long!" Ranma walked back into the room where he had left P-chan, to see him and Akane fighting each other, P-chan latched onto Akanes' arm, which Akane punched P-chan trying to get the pig off. Ryouga, after being finally knocked off of Akane, turned and looked at Ranma, and suddenly jumped at him in a fashion that Ranma was very used too. His hand shot out and caught the black piglet by the bandanna and held him at arms length. "Can you say mood swings?" Ranma asked Ryouga, before tossing him outside the window and into the Tendos' backyard.

Moments later Ranma was at the table eating breakfast for the first time in days, peacefully.

"Umm, Ranma, have you, uhh, seen Kasumi?" Nabiki asked as she slowly at some food.

"Yeah, last I checked she was still asleep, must want to sleep in today." Ranma said, then continued to shove food in his mouth. Hmm, that brand of sleeping pills really does work well, I'll have to remember that. He thought happily as he finished eating. "Well, I'll see ya at school." Ranma jumped up and grabbed his bag and was soon on his way to school.

Moments later Ranma entered the school grounds, and instantly recognized Shampoo leaning against the wall waiting for him. "Aww crap, do I havta deal with this before school?"

Shampoo looked over at Ranma and quickly pulled out the same two swords the had unsuccessfully tried to kill him with the day prior. "Shampoo kill you, and no mess up like last time!"

"Yeah! Me too!" Ukyou said jumping down from inside a tree.

Shampoo turned and yelled at Ukyou, "Shampoo thought she tell pervert girl to no follow Shampoo!"

Ukyou looked at the ground and kicked the dirt, "But you looked like you needed help." Ukyou then pulled her spatula off her back and looked towards Ranma, "Besides, I still have to kill him for stealing my loves away!"

"Shampoo not your love!" The Amazon screamed.

"But what about Kodachi and Akane! He's keeping them from me too!" Ukyou stated and then turned to face Ranma, "Now its time for you to die!"

Both Mousse and Ryouga both jumped down in front of Ukyou and Shampoo, "No! We must be the ones to kill Ranmas' male side, so his female side will be free!" Ryouga yelled as he pointed at Ranma.

"You two idiots! Killing male Ranma not free female Ranma! Just kill Ranma completely." Shampoo explained to the two.

Mousse shook his head, "No! It's true, all we must do is kill his male side, and his female side will be free to come with us!"

"You're going to share her? Ohh, neat, I like that idea!" Ukyou said, looking over at Ranma who's face clearly showed disgust.

"No, not that. After will kill male Ranma, me and Mousse will have a duel to the death, and who ever wins, gets Ranma." Ryouga explained to Ukyou.

"Shut up all of you! Shampoo have an idea, why don't all four of us kill Ranma, as a male, that way we all get what we want." Shampoo said smugly, hoping that she could finally get on with killing Ranma, and hopefully get back in time for a little breakfast.

"Right." Ukyou, Mousse, and Ryouga all said at once.

"Aww come on! That's four on one!" Ranma pointed out.

"You've handled worse Ranma." a familiar voice said from behind him, the voice of Tatewaki Kunou.

"Ahehe, you're back." Ranma said, slightly nervous about the possibilities of what could have happened to Kunou when everyone changed.

Kunou walked up and patted Ranma on the back, "Yes! Me and Kodachi went on a short notice vacation, a cruise actually, very peaceful, so how have things been going around here?"

Ranmas' brain temporarily shut down for a moment, before coming back to reality a few seconds later, "Oh, uhh, things have been weird." He said, still shocked from what he had just heard.

Kunou reached to his side and unsheathed a katana, "Would you like some help?"

Ranma nodded, "Uhh, sure."

Kunou smiled and turned around, "Hey! Yeah, he said we can help! Lets kick their butt!"

Two blurs jumped up from behind a wall and landed next to Kunou, one instantly recognizable as Kodachi wearing what looked to be normal clothing, and the other was, much to Ranmas surprise, Tarou. "Oh yes, I forgot to tell you, Tarou also joined us on our trip. Sorry about not telling you, you were probably wondering where we all went."

"Hah, Ranma you always attract good fights. Now come on, lets whip these guys." Tarou said, cracking his knuckles.

"And none of you take Ukyou, I want to beat her up myself for that time she tried drugging me." Kodachi angrily stated.

"So Tatewaki, any preferences to who you want to get?" Tarou asked the katana wielding swordsman, "'Cause I'm impartial, I'll take anyone of them."

"I suppose I'll take the purple haired one." Tatewaki said, pointing to Shampoo, "That way one of you don't have to fight her without a weapon."

"Ok, I'll handle the freak with the endless pockets." Tarou then looked over at Ranma, "That leaves you to take care of the pig."

Ranma smiled, "Now that I can do!" Maybe having these people actually on his side for once, wasn't too bad. Ranma thought was he looked over at the three.

"Hey! Enough stalling over there, can we get on with killing you now Ranma?" Ryouga yelled at the group.

"Yeah yeah, lets get this over with P-chan." Ranma taunted, and of course Ryouga jumped at Ranma in anger, his umbrella drawn. The pigtailed martial artist simply jumped into the air and watched as Ryouga went under him.

Tatewaki charged at the sword wielding Shampoo and was quickly forced to block as Shampoo tried to cut him strait down the middle with one of her swords. Tatewaki quickly maneuvered his katana and flipped one of the swords out of the Amazons hands and sent it about fifty feet away. "There, now its even."

Ukyou ducked under a kick that was thrown by Kodachi, "Oh Kodachi! Why can't we just stop fighting, and you admit your love for me!"

"That is because I have no love for you, you pervert!" Kodachi yelled as she dropped low to the ground and kicked Ukyous' feet out from under her, knocking the girl to the ground.

Tarou dodged to the side, avoiding the barrage of small knifes that were thrown at him, then ducked underneath some chains that the robed martial artist had thrown at him. Tarou shot his arm upwards and grabbed one of the chains, he yanked the chains back and pulled Mousse towards him, Tarou spun the chains around with Mousse still attached, and then smashed him into the ground. "Aww come on duck boy! You have to do better then that!"

"Shut up!" Mousse jumped up and with surprising speed kicked Tarou in the stomach, sending him flying back and smashing into Shampoo.

Shampoo kicked Tarou off of her, "Stupid boy stay off Shampoo!"

Tatewaki took the opportunity of the Amazon being distracted and smashed Shampoo in the side with his katana, sending her sprawling across the ground.

Ranma turned just in time to see Tatewaki smash into the girl with his katana, and was mortified. But there was something off about what had just happened, like no blood had spewed out of Shampoo. Ohh, it's a reverse blade. Ranma finally realized, just as Ryouga tried to smash the umbrella into his face. "Eep!" Ranma squeaked out just before he barely managed to duck underneath the umbrella.

Not to far away, Ukyou and Kodachi were still fighting, but it was obvious who was winning, Kodachi.

"Why!" Ukyou swung the spatula at Kodachis' feet, "Don't!" She slashed at her head, missing again, "Just get!" She then tried to smash Kodachi, but missed again, "**_Hit!_**" Ukyou swung it with all her strength, missing Kodachi, but ramming her spatula into a nearby tree.

"Night night Ukyou." Kodachi said right before she knocked the girl unconscious with a hit to the head. Kodachi then had to jump back quickly as Shampoo suddenly went flying right past her and smashed into the ground, also unconscious.

"Not even a challenge." Tatewaki said, sheathing the katana.

Tarou jumped back next to Tatewaki, "Hey Tatewaki, I got a plan to get both the idiots at once."

Tatewaki looked over at Ranma who was now fighting both Mousse and Ryouga, "How?"

Tarou smiled and pulled out a glass of water. "Splash Ranma, they stop attacking, we kick their butts while they're distracted."

Ranma kicked Ryouga in the stomach and turned around and punched Mousse in the chest multiple times. Both recovered quickly and jumped at Ranma, when suddenly a splash of cold water flew and hit Ranma directly in the face. Mousse and Ryouga stopped practically in mid-air and fell down to the ground, and Tarou, Tatewaki, and Kodachi pounced in the two and beat them into unconsciousness in their dazed state.

Ranma-chan looked around at the destruction and bodies scattered about the area. "So," Ranma-chan clapped her hands together, "who's up for ice cream?"

* * *

**_Neko Kaemon: MISSION COMPLETE! BUWAHAHAHAHA... Ok, I've been watching too much Bleach. (Though Don Kanonji rules)  
NOTE: I AM NOT DONE, I am refering to being done with the chapter, not the story. Sheeh.  
Anyway, I got a review that mentioned the story title, and sugested a change, well, thanks for the idea, but I actualy got the title from a Weird Al Song, "Everything you know is wrong." __  
'Everything you know is wrong Black is white, up is down and short is long And everything you used to think was so important Doesn't really matter anymore Because the simple fact remains that Everything you know is wrong' Is a small sample of the song, so ya, thats why I chose to call it what I did. Heh, and once again, thank you all who reviewed, they are much apreiciated!_**


	4. Tunnels

**_Everything you know is wrong_**  
**_Part 4: Tunnels  
By: Kaemon AKA That person who hasn't been here in what, a year?_**

It was not exactly what you would call abnormal for Ranma-chan to be placed in an unwanted situation; in fact it was rather on par with her life, at least at the moment. Whether it was a demon god, another rival or fiancé, and even his own mother, Ranma-chan had been able to handle her life with only a few small problems. Though every once and a while one of her small problems would get to her, annoy her, or generally make her feel like it was a living hell. This problem was one of those problems. She had gone with her newfound friends, Kuno, Kodachi, and Taro, down to get some ice cream after the hellish events that had recently taken place. She then set out to explain the situation she was in to her friends, this went relatively well and she gained some sympathy from them, as well as seeing them slightly disgusted at their other selves actions. As enjoyable as her talk with the two of them were, all fun things must come to an end, and what better people to ruin that, then Ryouga, and Mousse.

"**Ranma-chan! My love! I shall save you!**" Mousse yelled as him landed in front of Ranma-chan, "Look! I have finally found the cure!" He reached into his robes, five seconds later, his hands were still in there, twenty seconds later, his entire arm, one minute after the whole charade began, he had apparently disappeared inside of his robes, much to Ranma-chans amusement. "Ah-ha! Found it!" He said triumphantly as he popped out from the inside of his robes, holding a small bucket and a ladle. Then in one swift motion he pulled out the ladle, filled it with water from the bucket and splashed her with the water.

"You…" Ranma-chan glared directly at Mousse. "Let's see how you li—"

"Don't worry my love! I shall save you!" Ryouga called out triumphantly as he suddenly appeared behind Ranma-chan and poured hot water from the magical kettle, the opposite of the ladle. This of course changed Ranma-chan, into Ranma-kun, which was not something that Ryouga intended to do. Now, he knew that Ranma would be locked by the ladle and of course his life is devoted to _trying_ (not necessarily succeeding) in making Ranma happy and to make her love him, so he got its cure, but at the same time he despises Ranma's male form. This leads to an internal conflict of epic proportions, at least for him.

Mousse reeled back in shock at the sight of Ranma-kun, "This travesty must be undone!" He proclaimed as he once again threw water at Ranma, changing him into her.

While this event took place, the internal conflict of epic proportions, let us call this iCep from now on, had seemed to resolve itself. Ryouga had decided that while he did not want Ranma in her male form, it would make her happy for her to be able to become a he, so if he undid the lock on her, she would become a he which would cause her to be grateful to him so she would stay a she and not become a he and be with him. Somewhere along the line, this idea made sense to Ryouga and now he was determined to undo the lock, one again.

Mousse was shocked as he saw Ryouga unlock the curse for the second time, determined now; he threw the water on Ranma, only to see Ryouga undo it once again. This repeated again and again for the next few minutes.

Ranma-chan sighed as the water continued to be thrown at him from the two. "Of course the magical items have unlimited amounts of water, wonderful." Ranma sighed once again, and began walking away, "Look you two," Ranma-chan said backing away and then turned to face them both, "can't you both be idiots somewhere else?" Ranma-chan stood there for a few seconds, water hits her, and she becomes he, "Guess not."

* * *

"Will you two give it**_ up already_**?**" **Ranma-chan yelled as she stood at the door of the Tendo household.

"Uh, why?" Mousse asked, obviously oblivious to how _annoying_changing bodies every ten seconds could be.

"**_I hope you both get eaten!_**" Ranma-chan screamed at them as she grabbed both of them and proceeded to launch them into the air. Smiling she watched as the two of them landed, far, far away from where she was. This was when the simple fact that she was female hit her, female because the cold water of a magical bucket had hit her, and its only cure was a magic kettle. She possessed neither of these items, and had just thrown the two people who did possibly more then five miles away. "Whatever." She mumbled to herself, "I'm going to take a bath and go to bed." She then quietly laughed to herself, "It's not like it matters anymore really, I've obviously gone insane, and am now sitting in a nice white room." She stood in thought for a few seconds, "No wait, this is real, my life could never be that easy."

* * *

"We must be watchful in order to protect this city! Isn't that right **_Steel Panda?_**" The **_Blazing Steel_** said to his panda partner.

"You will soon learn that protecting something as large as a city can be rather, dangerous, I would say." The screeching voice said from behind the two.

The _**Blazing Steel** _turned to face his most dangerous and feared opponent. "So we meet again, you old crazy Chinese woman!"

Cologne gave a dry laugh, "This time you will not escape my wrath!" She screeched as dozens of vines shot up from the ground and entangled the two heroes. "Now, where was I…" She sat herself down on the ground and seemed to stare blankly at the sky, "Oh yes, why, back when I was 12 years old-"

"**_Nooooooooooooooooo!_**"

* * *

The next morning arrived too quickly for Ranma-chans taste, though after the prior day no one could quite blame her. As she sat amidst the hot water that filled the tub she began to think once more about how she got into this mess and how she would get herself up. She came up with answers for neither of these questions, and just opted for slowly sinking into the water until fully submerged. Well, at least until she remembered that she needs air. "Gah!" She yelped as she pulled her head above the water. "Wonder if I'll ever get back." She slowly began untying her hair. "Not like it really matters, either way these people have some serious issues, now they are just a bit more out in the open. Though I can say I'm more used to the way things used to be. But ya know, that's the way my life works, things start to get normal, and suddenly it's screwed up again." Leaning her head on the side of the furo she stared up at the ceiling, "Of course all this talkin' to myself probably isn't helping much."

The sound of something crashing through the door was heard by Ranma-chan, and the next thing she knew her mother was screaming something incoherently at her. No matter what the cause of this was, it probably wasn't in favor of the red head.

"Oh Ranma!" She finally said coherently, "I'm so glad you've finally decided to ditch that awful male form of yours!"

Ranma-chan jerked upright opened her mouth to speak, closed it, stared at her mother for another moment and then finally spoke, "Eheheh, look mother." Ranma-chan said cautiously as she pushed herself away from her mother and onto the other side of the tub, "This is all one big understanding. I really haven't given up my male form."

Nodoka stuck her finger into the water, testing its temperature, "It feels rather hot to me, definitely enough to change you."

"Well ya see mother, Ryouga he-" Ranma-chan began, but was cut off at the mention of Ryouga.

"Ryouga! Really! Such a nice boy. You should marry him." Nodoka happily declared.

"Nah, no, that would never work! Ranma-chan probably couldn't handle that sort of thing; I don't believe she has the mental capacity to do that." Kasumi said as she stood on the edge of the tub, wearing only a small blue bikini and carrying the katana.

"What are you implying? That I can't handle something like a relationship?" Ranma-chan said jumping to her feet and, to the best of her ability, looked Kasumi in the eyes.

Kasumi gave a rather disturbing snort like laugh, "I'm not implying anything! I'm directly stating that you probably couldn't handle even a simple date with a guy!"

"Is that some sort of challenge?" She demanded.

A cruel smirk formed on her face, one that somehow sent a chill through Ranma-chans bones. "Of course, do you accept?"

"No way am I backing down to you! Of course I accept!" Of course, less then one second after stating this, Ranma-chan instantly regretted it.

"Wonderful!" Kasumi then reached out and grabbed Ranma-chans hand, pulled out a ink pad, pushed Ranma-chans finger on it and whipped out a long piece of paper and stamped her finger on it.

"Is that contract even valid!" Ranma-chan yelled as she ripped her hand away from Kasumi.

Kasumi waved the katana in front of Ranma-chans face, "Of course, as long as I have this and am stronger then you, of course."

"And another thing," Ranma-chan said pointing her finger towards the door, "How did you get in here, you didn't come through the door!"

"Tunnels."

"Tunnels?"

"Tunnels." Kasumi stated once again, and jumped backwards landing in a hole in the middle of the floor; one that Ranma-chan swore wasn't there when she entered the room.

Ranma-chan stood there looking at the hole for a few moments. "I believe I hate Kasumi now." She then turned to her mom, who was still sitting there smiling at her.

"So." Ranma-chan could almost see the hearts in her eyes, "How about you take Ryouga?"

"That's it! I'm drownin' myself." Ranma-chan said as she sunk back into the tub.

* * *

"Bah, I suck at trying to kill myself." Ranma-chan said as she slipped back into her room, wearing a robe of course, though it lacked the neon pink color her mother had tried to get her to wear. "Now all I have to do is find a way to get that stupid kettle, get outta the stupid contract, and kill myself and/or put things back to normal. Which ever option is easiest." Then out of the corner of her eye, she spotted a small back animal which was distinctly pig shaped, and what other pig shaped being did she know other then the famed Ryouga Hibiki himself? "**_You._**" She ran over and grabbed Ryouga before he had any chance to get away. "Tell me now, where is that stupid kettle!"

'_My good old buddy Herb has it back_' The sign which Ryouga now held stated.

"_Since when did he use signs?_" Ranma-chan thought to herself, "Arg! Now I'll have to do all that crap just to get it back! To make things worse, because of you and Mousse I now have a stupid contract I have to deal with! Don't try saying its not your fault! Because it is!" Ranma-chan shook the pig. "Don't you talk back to me!" Though she had said this, Ryouga had not yet actually written anything down. "And stop laughing! It's not funny!" Once again, Ryouga did not think it was funny, nor was he laughing at her.

"_Obviously she's gone over the deep end. Poor girl._**" **Ryouga thought as he was continually shaken by the enraged red head.** "**_It must be Mousse's fault. Don't you worry my love! For I now vow to never aid nor team up with Mousse ever again!_" As **_touching_** as this sentiment was, Ranma-chan can't read minds, and if she could, it probably would have just annoyed her more. "_Wow, she's still ranting. I don't even think it's about her problems now._"

Ranma-chan was now jumping up and down screaming half the time, "And infomercials! Who cares! I mean, do you know _**anyone** _who buys from those things! I don't!"

* * *

**Kaemon: You know, a year can pass, really, really quickly. And as one sits there intending to get back to something, somehow the final year of high school or college classes tend to get in the way sometimes. Or possibly making a comic, or other things. Either way, it was weird. I actually started writing again and wrote this thing in one day, ya know. Albeit, it involves parts from beta chapters I tried writing dozens of times over the year. It just would never work out, ya know. It just started, then stopped, erased, and over and over again this happened. So It just hit me today as I sat in the college library what to do, so I did it… that's about it. And know I really know what to do, so yeah, I'll be doing this.**


	5. You have to wear the uniform

_**Everything you know is wrong  
Part 5: You have to wear the uniform.  
By: Kaemon**_

"-and that's when those stupid girls in sailor suits showed up, so I activated my orbital laser cannon and blasted them across the gate to London!"

The _Blazing Steel_ leaned over to his partner, who was tied to the wall next to him and whispered, "Quickly _Steel Panda_, we must find a way to get out of here! Or the world is surely doomed!"

"Hey! Are you two listening! Ah, good, now where was I… oh yes. The yellow rat shows up but is quickly taken care of by the walking suit of armor, but alas! He is quickly taken out by some freak wearing blue and a gun for a hand! Suddenly this guy in a green dress or something jumped down screaming and cut the blue guy in half, I tried talking to him later but all he did was scream every time he swung his sword. Then suddenly those crazy necromancers with their bells came to try and defeat us, but the shinigami appeared and quickly took care of that problem."

'_I agree; much more of this and I'll lose my mind._**'** _Steel Panda_ wrote on his sign as the old Amazon continued to ramble on telling pointless stories.

* * *

Ranma-chan slowly sipped from the can of soda she held, as she watched clouds move through the sky from the roof of the house. "You know," She said as she looked down at the small pig, Ryouga, who was also on the roof, "going temporarily insane is, well, rather therapeutic." Ranma-chan grabbed Ryouga by the bandana and stood up, "Well," she lifted Ryouga up and looked him in the eye, "You know what the only thing there is to do now?"

"_Elope? Right? Am I right this time?_" Ryouga wishfully thought.

Ranma-chan's pointed towards the sky, "I'm going to china!" she then sighed, "_It's not like I have a choice, and I have to get that stupid kettle back from Herb._" She gave a sharp glare at Ryouga as this thought ran through her head.

* * *

**Twenty Minutes ago**

* * *

"_You know what else is wrong with the world? Sauerkraut. I just hate the stuff! It's there with those foods people keep making, but I've never actually seen people eat them ya know!" Ranma-chan blinked twice, and then slowly set down on the floor, letting go or Ryouga in the process. "Huh…" She shook her head, as if clearing out the temporary insanity. "So, as you were saying, Herb has it back. Where is he now?"_

'_He went home.' The small sign said._

_Ranma-chan pulled herself off the floor and moved towards the door, "Wonderful, life keeps getting better."_

* * *

**Now**

* * *

"_Yes! It seems like she has given up on getting the kettle back! This means she has chosen to be a girl!_" The small black pig thought with glee. "_Though what could she possibly want that's in China? Must be something big, because last I checked she hated that place with a passion._"

"Ack!" Ranma-chan shouted as she realized how much time she had wasted of the day already. "Akane will be ticked if I skip classes again. Or at least she normally did, though, here she might not care considering she did skip school that one day." Images of an angry **_and_** extremely sex crazed Akane entered Ranma-chan's head, needless to say, it was not something she would ever want to experience. "No, not taking **_any_** chances."

* * *

Ranma-chan looked up at the clock atop the school, and thanked the heavens she had somehow actually woken up early, so rather then being there right as the bell rang; she was there actually about ten minutes early, a rare thing for her. Unfortunately, this would be the highlight of the school day. The second she set foot past the gate, the trouble started.

"Excuse me Miss, where are you going?" Kuno, **_Principle_** Kuno was walking towards her, the person who always wore crazy Hawaiian clothing and always had a pineapple on his head, was now lacking his normal tan and wore a suit.

"Eheh, to class?" She warily responded.

"Not like that, all students must wear the proper uniform. It's the rule."

"Aww common! I haven't worn the uniform any other time!"

"Wear the uniform ya moron!" a voice from above said, obviously belonging to Kasumi. Ranma-chan looked up to see her standing atop the gate, though this time she was wearing what appeared to be a hakama and a modified kimono with a red inside, though it looked more like a trench coat then anything else. Though now she had a different sword, and this one rather bothered Ranma-chan, for it was much longer and pitch black. Going against Kasumi now, probably wouldn't be a good idea. Suddenly she jumped from the top of the gate and landed right in front of Ranma-chan. Then looking her directly in the eye she simply stated, "Wouldn't want you to get in trouble at school, now would we?"

"I… but- you…. I still…" Ranma-chan hung her head and stared at the ground, once again defeated by this twisted Kasumi.

Kasumi then pulled out the girls' school uniform and handed it t o Ranma-chan, "Have fun! Oh, and don't get it damaged, or I'll kick your ass from here to Jusenkyou and back again!" She then shoved Ranma-chan towards the school and watched as Ranma-chan dejectedly walked to a place she could change. "Huh. While this new Ranma is fun, I do wonder what happened to the old one."

* * *

Ranma-chan nervously looked over the class; nothing major had happened during class, but that never guaranteed that something wouldn't happen during the break. The fact that Ukyou sat only three seats away was not helping this. At least Akane had kept herself under control it had seemed, and Ranma-chan had only found her hand trying to reach up her shirt three times so far today, this was substantially better then the previous days. Though Ranma-chan always looked at the grand picture when deciding of a day was good or bad, now, looking back to before this entire mess started, it would be horrible, but comparatively it was much better. This of course, did not change the fact that Ranma-chan was getting groped by Akane in the middle of class.

Over in Ranma-chan's bag, sat a small black piglet, which is commonly referred to as Ryouga. As he sat there in the bag, another iCep descended upon him. His grand rival in Ranma-chan's love was within his view, right next to the bag he had snuck into. Ryouga had managed to pick up on the _subtle_hints that Ranma-chan left behind indicating that she didn't like the constant molestations. He now had two choices in front of him; he could just sit on the sidelines and continue to watch the obscene charade that Akane was enacting, or he could leave the bag and defend Ranma-chan. Now what would come from the first choice would be no harm to him, though Ranma-chan would be annoyed greatly by the actions of his greatest rival in love, Akane Tendo. Though if he followed the second choice, he would be able to stop Tendo's actions, but possibly at the cost of being beat up by the said girl in his pig form, or even worse Ranma-chan getting angry for him even being in there, since sneaking into ones school bag is hardly considered normal. So to go out and save Ranma-chan from the horrors of Akane, or stay safe in the bag and not get in trouble, he just couldn't decide. Seconds later due to mental strain and the fact Ranma-chan threw a text book in there which had hit him squarely on the head; Ryouga finally came to a decision: fall unconscious.

* * *

Time had passed, that fact was obvious to Ryouga, mainly because he was now sitting on Ranma-chan's sleeping pad amidst her books and school things, that, and she was giving him something rather close to a death glare.

"It's wonderful, ya know, to find what appears to be a dead pig in your bag when ya dump it out right after eating a meal with those psychopaths down there." She commented as she began putting her things back into the small bag. Ranma-chan then watched as Ryouga dashed away and was out of the room mere seconds later. "He's probably embarrassed."

Moments passed and now Ranma-chan was looking through one of the school books in a attempt to cement all of what she had been told in class that day, it wasn't quite working well. "Arg! This is pointless! I can't think in these stupid conditions!" She then threw the book across the room, but instead of the sound of it hitting the wall, the sound more resembled hitting a person which is exactly what it did.

"Ow! Dang, what's with you?" It was of course Ryouga.

* * *

It was night now, and Ukyou moved quickly through the trees and over the tops of buildings towards her prey, she would not lose tonight. Unlike the past dozen attempts of this, she was sure this one would be fool proof. Gracefully she landed on the very edge of the window, and began the careful work of opening it up and yet making absolutely no noise. "Success!" She whispered quietly to herself. Slowly she creped over to only sleeping form in the room. "Perfect! This is exactly how I planed it!" Ukyou gleefully squealed, quietly of course. She carefully looked at the girl before her, while awake she was a force to be reckoned with, someone who you didn't want to be on their bad side. Though while sleeping, all sprawled out over the blankets, she appeared absolutely harmless. Carefully she closed in on the girl; she was now kneeling down and only inches away from the girl. "**_Sham-chan I love you!_**" Ukyou yelled as she buried her face into Shampoo's chest

"**_Get out pervert girl!_**" Shampoo screamed as she threw Ukyou out the window. She then leaned out the window, "**_Come back again and you'll find yourself in spring of drowned rat!_**" She then slammed the window shut and slid back into bed. "Next time I call the cops." She muttered as she tried back into a blissful sleep rather unsuccessfully.

* * *

"Wha-what do you mean Ryouga?" Ranma-chan asked as she scooted backwards on her mat until she hit the wall.

"Ranma, I may not be the most observant person in the world, but I believe I can tell when you have a dramatic change in personality, now tell me what's wrong?" He asked with determination in his voice.

Ranma-chan scoffed and laughed bitterly, "Really, it's not as if you, of all people, would actually understand. I told Kuno, Kodachi, and Tarou, they might have said they believed me, but I'm almost sure I saw doubt there."

He shrugged, "Try, you might be surprised at what can happen."

Ranma-chan sighed into her hands, "Ughh, might as well." Ranma-chan looked up directly into Ryouga's eyes, "Now, I'm not crazy. In no way have I made any of this up. You see, everyone else is the one who's not acting normal!"

"You don't say." Ryouga said as he took a sit right next to Ranma-chan.

"I'm serious! Everyone as I remember them is different then they act now! Akane would rather beat on me and attack me for everything I say then molest me for it. Mom would cut off my head for doing anything feminine. Then there was Mousse and Shampoo! Mousse was always blaming me for stealing Shampoo from him, when I actually never tried anything with her, and Shampoo, she was always jumping on me and sneaking into my bed. Soun Tendo lacks any sort of spine, and my father could care less about my well being, and never seemed to care what happened as long as he was okay! Oh, and Ukyou! That's a big change, she was always claiming me as her fiancé and stuff, ya know, always trying to get on my good side and seeming like she was the good guy. That's not even half the people I know! I don't even want to get into the mental issues the Kuno's have!" Ranma-chan looked down and started messing around with the skirt of the school uniform, which she still hadn't changed out of.

"So what about me?" Ryouga questioned.

A small smirk appeared on Ranma-chan's face, "Well, let's see, you were one of the more interestin' ones. Your main thing was it was your self proclaimed job to 'Make my life hell and take away all my happiness,' though more often then not it was just some excuse to be mad at me for no reason. If I insulted Akane in anyway, you fought me. If I talked to Shampoo or Ukyou you attacked me for abandoning Akane. If I tried to talk to Akane you attacked me from trying to steal her from you as well!"

"Sounds like a real pain." Ryouga nonchalantly commented.

"Well it was!" She responded, "To make it worse it all started over a stupid bread fight back in school a few years ago!"

"Well there's only one thing I can do now, I guess." Ryouga leaned his head back and stared up at the ceiling, "From what it sounds like, you wouldn't remember this, but, quite a while ago I made a promise. I promised that I would do what I can to make you happy, and even if it ruined me, I would do it. So right now it seems the only thing I can do now is help you get things back to how you remember them." He then turned to her and smiled, "Though I do have one small condition."

Silence hung in the air for a few seconds before she responded, "And that would be?"

He was still smiling, like he had been the entire time, "I'm the one you have to fulfill that contract of Kasumi's you signed with."

Ranma-chan sat there in silence once again, not responding to him, she began to get lost in thought until Ryouga suddenly stood up and walked towards the door.

"Just kidding about that contract thing, you know I wouldn't make you do that." He said, and then slipped out of the room shutting the door behind him.

Silence was in the room once again, though now the room felt empty as well. "Huh," She muttered as she messed around with the much despised skirt, "might was well take the help."

* * *

Ukyou sat in the trash can that she had landed in after being thrown out of Shampoo's room. "Tomorrow, I'll try using the sleeping gas."

"**_Not a chance!_**" Shampoo was now leaning out her window, "**_Now shoo!_**" Shampoo then threw a glass out of her window, hitting Ukyou square in the forehead knocking her unconscious in the process. "Or do that…." She muttered as she slammed the window shut.

* * *

**Kaemon: Ohh so many people are gonna thing I'm doing something after this chapter, but this is not, I repeat, NOT going to be a Ranma-chan x Ryouga fic. It is NOT. For a breif explination of what happend, let me tell you this, yes, peoples personalitys change in this story, but just becasue a person is silly and might be stupid, doesn't mean they can't understand other people and be serious once and a while. Yeah, I just want to clear that up before I actualy get someone thinking I'm writing this for a paring... Though actualy, that is my favorite pairing, so you know... I would like to eventualy write a story like that, but if I did that I would want it to be, well, you know, the actual Ryouga. Oh, and a kudos to anyone who can name 7 references I KNOWINGLY made, and which one of the refernces repeates itself, (In other words, what do I refernece twice) Albit most of these take place in the first few paragraphs but like, 2.**  



	6. What caused the school to catch on fire?

_**Everything you know is wrong**_  
_** Part 6: What caused the school to catch on fire?**_  
_** By: Kaemon**_

Ranma-chan yawned as she opened her eyes; it had been a rather good night because as far as she could tell nothing had tried molesting her while sleeping. At that moment, she noticed a small black pig was curled up asleep on her chest, and Akane was on the other side of her with, as Ranma-chan suddenly realized much to her discomfort, her hand inside of Ranma-chan's underwear. At this point, her eye began to twitch. "**_Get out!_**"

* * *

"This is so your fault." Akane said as she flew through the air next to Ryouga, after having been thrown out of Ranma-chan's window.

'_Quit blaming me for your problems._' His small sign read.

Akane then reached out and began strangling the small pig, "**_Who are you to blame me for my problems!_**"

* * *

Slowly she cracked the door open, and after confirming no one was in the hallway she quickly dashed from the bathroom to her room, wearing a robe of course, locking the door behind her. Ranma-chan quickly went over to her dresser and started to remove her normal clothing for the day, when suddenly her door fell apart, Kasumi obviously the one to blame. "Hey! Haven't you ever heard of knocking!" Ranma-chan yelled to the sword wielding maniac at the doorway, also known was Kasumi Tendo.

"I did knock." Kasumi said innocently.

"No you didn't! I would have heard it!" Ranma-chan argued back.

The same cruel smirk Kasumi tended to have recently appeared, "Of course I knocked! I came out of my room, knocked three times on Nabiki's door, then came over here and forcefully entered."

Ranma-chan stood there dumbfounded for a few seconds, "That doesn't count! Not at all! Why are you here anyway?"

"On the back side of the contract it said I get to choose what you wear everyday." She then pulled out the said contract and turned it over, revealing another wall of text. She then threw some clothing at Ranma-chan, "See ya downstairs."

"I'll get you back someday." The red head vowed as she began to change.

Moments later Ranma-chan was walking through the hallway, now adorned in the clothing Kasumi gave her. The clothing was nothing horrible, it was actually rather modest and something that one might normally see on a girl, but to Ranma-chan this was a serious offence.

"Oh Ranma, have you seen Akane anywhere this morning?" Mr. Tendo asked as he stuck his head out of his room.

Ranma-chan considered telling him that the launched his daughter out of her window, but quickly decided against it, "Nope, can't say I have."

* * *

Akane carried Ryouga, holding him by his bandana, out of the butcher shop. "Ha! Who's the one with mental trauma now!"

* * *

Ranma-chan sat down at the breakfast table, noting that Akane was still absent from the house. "_I don't think I threw them that far away…_" She contemplated as she began to eat the breakfast the ever timid Nabiki had put in front of them. "Though I still need to get to china." She muttered aloud, not on purpose of course.

"Going to china, eh?" Genma, who was sitting by his sometimes daughter, "How much is it going to cost?"

"_Wonder what he's up to now…_" She suspected him of something; she just didn't know what to suspect him of. "About Eighty four thousand yen for one person."

Genma nodded, then reached into his pocked and procured his wallet from his back pocket; this surprised Ranma-chan because Genma usually lacked money so he rarely kept a wallet. He then reached inside of the wallet and pulled out a small stack of bills, and proceeded to count them out till he reached Ninety thousand. He then sat them down on the table and turned to Ranma-chan, "Is this the amount you need?"

Ranma-chan sat there, dumbfounded that her father had money, let alone this much. "Ye-yeah… it is."

Genma then placed his hand onto her shoulder, "Ranma, my aquatransexual gender confused fiancé abused sometimes son sometimes daughter."

"Uhh, yes?" She was now mildly shocked by the way he was acting.

"Get a job." He directly stated then grabbed the money and put it back into his wallet.

'Screw you old man! You're no help here!" She stood up from the table and stomped her way up the stairs, and back into her room.

Genma slowly took a sip of his drink, "You know, she would be a lot more threatening if she wasn't so cute all the time."

**

* * *

**

Ranma-chan sat herself down onto the sleeping mat, "I swear, the one time that old fart could actually be of some good to me and he tells me to get a job! How the heck do I do that when I got all these crazy people after me everyday?" She sighed, there was nothing else she could do, and she had to do it. "But, where in the world can I get a job? I could have worked at Ukyou's place, but now that's rather out of the question, and no matter what personality they have I am never working with those Amazons!"

"I'll help you get the money Ranma!" Two voices chimed out in unison, "I'll work with you and help get enough money to go! On one condition! I get to go as well!" Akane and Ryouga then stopped talking and started growling at each other.

Ranma-chan blinked at the sight of the spectacle before her, "Wait, I can understand Ryouga, but why you Akane?"

"Because I must always assist my much loved fiancé in everything she does!" She chirped, "_And to miss out on being alone with you in China? No way!_"

"So, any plans on what to do?" Ranma-chan asked the two.

"I got one!" Akane said, confidence in her voice, "This plan will surely work, and with our skills, it won't be any problem at all!"

* * *

It was now two in the morning and for some reason all the lights in the street were off, but this is where Akane said to meet here, "_It was her plan anyway, why go against her?_" Ranma-chan thought was she and Ryouga went through the darkened streets. Seconds later Ranma-chan bumped into something soft, a person to be exact. "Oh, sorry, I di-" It was at that moment she realized it was Akane, it wasn't that Akane made any noise, it was the fact that there was now a distinctly female hand up her shirt and it was now molesting the side of her breast. "Stop that Akane!" Ranma-chan quietly shrieked and ripped Akane's hand out of her shirt.

"Why are we were anyway Akane? Also, why did you tell us to wear all black?" Ryouga questioned, annoyed that he has been dragged out in the middle of the night to help his rival, yet happy at the same time because it was also helping Ranma-chan.

"Oh, right. We're going to rob that bank there." She whispered to the group.

Ranma-chan just stood there in silence, staring blankly at the deranged girl, she then reached out and put her hands on Akane's shoulders, and begun to shake her. "Are you insane? Oh why am I even asking, of course you are, and deranged to boot! You just don't go and rob a bank because you need money!"

Akane crossed her arms and pouted, "Well then, you got any better ideas?"

"Yeah! Not getting arrested!" Ranma-chan then began to march away from the two, "Whatever, I'm going to bed, just don't rob the bank."

They stood there in silence till Ryouga pointed a finger at Akane, "Hah, Ranma thinks you're deranged."

Akane tackled Ryouga and began strangling him again, "How dare you point out my mental problems!"

* * *

Ranma-chan slowly crawled into her bed; the day had been a waste. She was no closer to getting to china and now knew that Akane was willing to rob banks, wonderful. Though something was wrong, she couldn't quite figure out what, but she knew something here wasn't right. Carefully she looked around the room; it was completely normal and looked just like she had when she entered the room. One final thought entered her head and she slowly looked up at the ceiling, and there it was, two figures attached to the ceiling: Akane Tendo and P-chan.

* * *

Kasumi Tendo took in a breath of the fresh outside air, it was a cool and quite morning which is exactly the way she liked them. It was good that it was so calming here as well, because after having just finished a fight this early in the morning caused her to be a little more on the edge. It was the Kasumi noticed something was different about the backyard today, the two people tied up and hanging upside down from the tree in her backyard might have been what seemed out of place. "So what happened to you two?" She asked as she walked up to the hanging pair.

Akane rocked around and rotated to Kasumi, "Oh, well after going to rob a bank, Ranma decided not to and just went home. So I snuck into her room and this idiot here," She gestured to snoring Ryouga, "followed along and got Ranma mad, I think."

"That's nice." She said as she began to walk away.

Akane swayed back and forth a few times and called out to Kasumi, "Hey! Don't you think you should help me down from here?"

"I probably should!" Kasumi called out as she entered the house and shut the door behind her.

* * *

Ranma-chan, as she stood there in a girl's school uniform once again, stared in awe at the sight she saw. The school was on fire. Not just a small portion of the school, the **_entire_** school was on fire. Ranma-chan noticed Kasumi a across the street in front of the school gate and ran over to her, "What the hell's going on here?" She demanded as she pointed towards the burning school.

Kasumi crouched down to Ranma-chan's level, making them eye to eye. She draped her arm over Ranma-chan's shoulder and pointed towards the school. "You see there Ranma-chan, that's what we like to call fire. Remember never to touch it or run into it. It's very hot and burns people! Understand? "

"I know what fire is!" The smaller girl yelled, "But what **_caused_** the school to catch on fire?"

"Nothing really important." Kasumi said casually. "Though actually…"

* * *

_**2 hours ago**_

* * *

Two large robotic suits stood over the high school, each with weapons drawn. "Kasumi Tendo! Today is the day you enter your grave!" Tofu yelled into the communicator, which broadcast it over to the other suit.

"Not a chance in hell Tofu!" Kasumi yelled as she readied more weapons.

Tofu began moving first and charged at Kasumi, "Prepare yourself!"

"I was born prepared!" Kasumi screamed as a long blade shot out of the robots arm.

* * *

_**Now**_

* * *

"Needless to say, your school is now on fire and Tofu is somewhere in South America." Kasumi patted Ranma-chan on the back, "Everybody wins!"

"What are ya talking about? The only person who could conceivably have gained anything from this is you!" Ranma-chan grabbed Kasumi pulled her down to her eyelevel. "I think you did this just to annoy me." Her eyes narrowed as she looked directly into Kasumi's eyes.

"Of course not Ranma-chan, I wouldn't do something like that. The thought of making you unhappy is just appalling, you know." Kasumi then pulled away from the smaller girl and started moving towards the direction of the Tendo house. "Wonder how much longer it will be till she figures it out." Kasumi slipped her hands behind her head and smiled, "But that won't stop me from having fun till she does."

* * *

"No."

"Come on!"

"No."

"Come on!"

"No."

"Come on!"

"**_I believe I said no! Can you please leave?_**" Shampoo shrieked at the girl next to her.

"But my love, you must stop denying the bond we share!"

"There was no bond to begin with! There was no bond ever formed! There will never be one formed! Just go!"

Ukyou sighed dejectedly, she had failed once again. "Fine, I'll leave for now, but don't think I have even started to give up!" She then turned around and marched out of the stall, closing the door behind her.

Shampoo walked out of the bathroom a few moments later, and carefully slipped out of the store without being noticed by Ukyou who was still on the other side. "Really, I swear she's crazy, why else would she follow me into the bathroom."

* * *

The next day arrived and Ranma-chan now sat, again in one of Kasumi's picked outfits, atop the Tendo house. She was still stuck and no closer to her solution then she was a few days again. Carefully she studied the sun and the clouds as she contemplated a solution to her problem, when suddenly an idea hit her. It was perfect; there was nothing that could go wrong, at least that's what she hoped. Besides, if all went well she would have the money, and if things don't well, she would deal with that when the time came. Slowly she peered over the edge of the house watching for anyone to pass by and only seconds later her target appeared. Quickly she caused her eyes to tear up, acting classes do a wonder for a person you know, and made herself look as pitiful as possible. Sliding off the roof and landing on the ground she began to dash towards her target, "Mommy!"

* * *

**Kaemon: I would actualy like to thank Ashark for getting this back in my mind and allowing me to finish this chapter. I was so busy with classes I actuayl forgot all about this for a few days, dangorus thing that is. I'll try not to forget more often, hehe.  
**


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